He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.