Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Dating After Heartbreak
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...