Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
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I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.