Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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