Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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