We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You can't motorboat a personality
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
