I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
