i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think your dad took our porno
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
