Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
