i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
