whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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