I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
