You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't think brook has ever known best
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I just put wine in my tea
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
