yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
