I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
