im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
