Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
