I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
