The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize