weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
