We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
