The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
