I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
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I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
3 2 1 whiskey
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.