at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
