Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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