I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
