Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
