Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
