I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
