Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
