I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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