drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
