literally had 100 drinks last night.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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