Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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