I will die if light touches me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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