I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
