I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
