I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Non-Jews are for practice
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
