its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
