So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
