I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
