I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
