I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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