Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
