Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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