I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize