I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The adults are the big ones right?
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