You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
