they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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