I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
