Can i not drive my cunt home
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
