Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
