i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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