Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
