god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
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So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
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I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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