i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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