How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize