I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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