Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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