I'm lost and stupid without you.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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