i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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