my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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