Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
