you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
