Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize