When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
