she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
