she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
